Forgotten Dreams

It's been a while since I last posted, but I have had a couple of stories on the go, so hopefully it won't be another year before the next one! This was inspired by a picture Ana brought to our writing group, of a teeny weeny clock perched on the end of a fingertip. I started thinking about what such a small clock would be for, and while I was doing it a few characters joined me.

Forgotten Dreams

Very few people know where dreams come from. Even fewer know how much care and planning goes into them. For Ana’s cast it was everything. They could spend months planning a really complex dream. Right now they were off stage and taking a well deserved rest. Ana was out. She wouldn’t be going to bed for hours. They had time to sit and talk about last night.

“Transition between those last two was a bit lumpy last night. Luckily she had quite a lot on her mind so I don’t think she noticed. What were you thinking? One minute she was in school and the next she’s running through woodland!”

“Sorry Seth. Two pages got stuck together and I didn’t notice. You’ve been working us quite hard recently.” James said this in a small, polite voice, but Seth could still hear the reproachfulness around the edges.

“You KNOW what this is about. They’re…”

“Yes, we know.” Judith put her hand on his arm. “They’re threatening to move us to someone else. Give the easy dreamers to some of the younger ones.” She smiled reassuringly up at him. “We know we need to stay with Ana. We know no one else knows about the clock.”

It was true. No-one else did know about the clock. But it was also true that they knew precious little about it either. It had started as a minute cog when they first moved in. They were young and inexperienced, but most babies’ dreams were easy: just recreations of the day before. As Ana grew so did the number of cogs. Now Ana was nearly thirty and the cogs had become a perfect miniature mantle clock. If they had been able to remove it, it would have fitted onto the tip of one of her fingers. They didn’t know what it did or why it was there, but they all felt it was important.

They had lived together at the back of Ana’s head for most of their lives, but they had all been somewhere else before. They had trained with established casts, in men and women, babies and children. Only a select few that were trained ever made it onto permanent casts. A few cameos in well established groups was the best that most could wish for. It was a great honour to be given your very own person; be solely responsible for their emotional wellbeing. So, either the clocks were in everyone, but mentioned by no-one; or, and as Seth expected, this was one of very few, or the only one.

Now they were going to be inspected, again, and Seth didn’t like it one bit.

Casts were not left on their own indefinitely. They all respected that. Inspections and the occasional secondment were to be expected. This was their third inspection in as many months and that had Seth worried. Regular inspections were for new or troubled groups; perhaps those that had lost a key member. They always scored well and yet here the inspectors were, again. Seth was worried they’d let something slip about the clock. He was pretty sure that no-one had seen it. No-one was ever allowed to be unsupervised in Ana’s mind. Some of the trainees found that a bit much, especially as Seth drove everyone so hard, no matter how new they were, but he insisted; and whatever Seth said went.

No matter how they grumbled behind his back the cast knew they were with the right leader. He let them try new things and always valued what they had to say. They had all seen enough of the other casts to see that this was not always the case. Cast members were rarely listened to at all, let alone had their ideas taken, developed, and put into the prime-time dreams. Every one of Seth’s cast members had seen at least one of their ideas used in that all important, just before waking, dream. Every one of them had been given at least the one chance to be truly seen by Ana and influence her day.

Seth abruptly got up and strode off. They all knew where he was going. He had moved his quarters so that he could sleep next to the clock; perhaps catch a glimpse of what it might do. They instantly lowered their voices, but continued to plan tomorrow’s “show dream”.

“She’s going through a good time at the moment. I still think we should do the masked ball again. I know Seth likes us to do something different in every dream, but we did it so well last time and we can add a few twists to keep it fresh.” Judith suggests.

“Yeah” Julia agrees in a low, but excited whisper. “It was so pretty last time. Lots of flashy set pieces for the inspectors.”

“You would say that.” James exclaimed. “You’re the lead!”

“We would need a lot of extras. Has anyone checked they are available? Seth will want to interview each of them separately beforehand; do we have enough time for all that?” Susan, calls over to them from a huge pile of costumes she’s sorting through.

“I think so.” Judith says decisively. “I think we should go for it. If Seth agrees, of course.”

“If Seth agrees” they all chorus.

It was unusual for Seth to let go of the reigns like this, but he’d been spending more and more time with the clock, willing it to tell him something. He trusted his cast, of course; knew none of them would let him down, and so he allowed himself to spend more and more time looking up at the huge face looming above him. It was as he stretched out underneath it that a thought struck him. Perhaps Ana knew something about it. Not that it was there, of course, but perhaps subconsciously. How to find out? It was forbidden to travel to any other part of the mind except those needed for the dreams. Everything ended up at the back of the mind at some point. No-one had ever been to the front, or, even worse, dared to look out of her eyes. But he just had to do something! With that he sprung up, almost knocking Judith over. She had been bringing him tea, but now most of it pooled on the floor.

“How goes the planning?” Seth asked her, completely ignoring the tea.

“Oh, fine. We were thinking the masked ball, but with a few surprise twists. If you agree…”

“Perfect. On you go then.” He replied in a muffled voice, through the large rucksack he was now packing.

“But…” was all Judith managed before Seth interrupted her.

“I want you to be prepared in case it’s me they’re after.” He turned and actually looked at her for a second, smiling. “I know you’ll do a great job.” He squeezed her shoulder and, with that, he hoisted the rucksack onto his back and left.

Judith was left standing, watching the space he occupied a few short seconds ago. She never dreamed they’d have to do this all by themselves, and for an inspection! Gradually she became aware of her toes becoming slightly soggy and looked down. The tea had spread to her feet. She quickly reached down and plucked a t-shirt of dubious cleanliness from Seth’s pile and mopped it up. As she walked back to the others, tea-soaked t-shirt in hand, she wondered how they’d take it. They’d be thrilled at the freedom, she was sure, but this was serious. Dreams could affect someone’s whole life. Were they up to it?

Seth felt elated! He was finally doing something. The clock had to mean something; clocks don’t randomly grow inside people’s heads for no reason, and who would know better than Ana herself?

It took him a whole day before he realised just how lost he had become. It had seemed so simple to start with. He was at the back of her mind and wanted to go to the front. The trouble was that none of the passageways was completely straight, and he had never left the staging area before and… yes, he had to admit he was lost. He was so frustrated and angry with himself he almost couldn’t stand it. He screamed and shouted and cried and then he did something he instantly regretted. He punched the wall with his fists. He had hit Ana! How could he do that? She probably knew nothing about it, but still, her wellbeing was the whole point of his existence, of all of their being here. How could he have hit her like that?

He slumped to the ground, not even bothering to remove his rucksack. He stared at the place his fists had made contact with her. He was sure the area was gong redder. He shut his eyes and tried to think to her how sorry he was. He stayed like that for a long time, until he found something sticking into his ribs. His head snapped up to see a small figure disappearing around a bend.

“Wait” he shouted after it, but no-one appeared.

“I don’t mean you any harm” he tried again.

Still nothing. He started to take off his rucksack and happened to look up. Three wide sets of eyes were looking at him from a gap in the ceiling.

Seth froze. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to scare them away. All that fuss he’d been making earlier seemed so stupid now, but to them he must have seemed like a monster. How…ah, he had it. Slowly he reached into his pack and undid a buckle at the front. All three sets of eyes flinched, but they stayed where they were.

“Cake anyone? I have some fruit cake I wouldn’t mind sharing. I don’t expect you to come down. I’ll throw it up to you. Is that ok?”

The three sets of eyes disappeared and his heart sank, but then he heard whispering and they returned.

“Yes please” a high pitched voice replied.

It took Seth a total of five throws to finally get the cake up to them. He was glad none of the others were here to see his dismal efforts. He’d tied it tightly in a handkerchief, so he hoped it would still be ok for them. All three sets of eyes still stared at him as he sat down and started to eat his remaining supply. He could hear sounds of enthusiastic mastication up above.

While they ate he asked himself why they’d never met before. As far as he knew his cast were the only people here. If there were children, there had to be adults somewhere, didn’t there. No-one would leave children here on their own?

“Have you got any more?” A voice called from up above, different to the first.

“Sorry, that’s your lot.” And, taking a bit of a risk “where are your parents anyway?”

Big mistake. The six shining lights went out, followed by a series of scrabblings, and then all was silent.

“Damn.” Said Seth to no-one in particular. He was too tired to go on now. He would just stay here for a while and move on when he’d had some sleep. He pulled out a blanket and made his pack into a pillow.

He was woken by the sounds of someone rummaging in his backpack. He opened his eyes to see two looking directly back at him, about an inch in front of him. Struggling, he realised he couldn’t move a muscle and his mouth was covered. Still, the eyes looking back at him went wide with fright.

“He’s awake, and he doesn’t look happy.”

“Tough, you’re hungry aren’t you?”

“Yes, but won’t he be angry?”

“So?” The voice he could hear seemed deep within his pack and was supremely unconcerned. Had they done this before?

 Seth tried to speak. “Wait, let me help you.” It came out in a muffled series of grunts.

“What was that?” The unconcerned voice asked, briefly pausing in his search. A small face came into view. Smaller than he’d expected from the cockiness of the voice. A hand reached over and removed the tape from Seth’s mouth.

“I can get you food.” Seth answered. “Come with me.”

“Oh” replied the boy disappointed “I thought you were going to offer us something good.”

“I am! Food, water, company, clean clothes.”

“Nah. We’re fine as we are.”

He went back to rummaging in the pack, but the other boy looked at him for a long time. Eventually they must have found what they were looking for because they left. He could hear them moving away behind him, but had no idea where they went.

Seth’s arms ached. He couldn’t feel his fingers. His toes were freezing and the worst part, he desperately needed to scratch his nose. Still, he’d been in worse positions. Once he’d been tied up hanging upside down from a hook, James Bond style. Another, he’d been hanging off a railway carriage trying to get in, while one of the girls was in pitched battle inside. At least this time he was on the ground.

He had no idea how long it took him to work himself free. He worked at the knots and little by little, they started to loosen. Finally they were loose enough for him to free his hands, and then it wasn’t long before the rope lay neatly coiled up next to him. He went through his pack. Very little had actually been stolen, and they’d missed the pocket at the front with most of his food. He should go on. He knew that, but he was also deeply curious. Who were these boys and how did they get here? If he left now he might never know.

Seth was well known for his epic sandwiches. He’d left in a hurry, but not before stopping off at the kitchens for supplies. He was after all, impulsive, not stupid. He made one of these now, in full view of the hole and then carefully placed it near the bend, but not so near that it could be taken without him seeing.

“For you” he said proudly. For not tying the knots too tight.”

He heard something that sounded suspiciously like “told you” from above, and then silence. He smiled to himself and settled down to wait. He didn’t have to wait long. Within a few minutes the smaller boy was peering around the corner, looking alternately at him and then at the sandwich.

“It’s Ok, it’s for you.” Seth smiled what he hoped was his friendliest and least creepy-looking smile.

The boy moved cautiously out into the open. He grasped the sandwich in both hands.

“I” Seth started, but too late. The boy startled and scurried off. “I just want to talk” Seth called up to the hole. Nothing. He tried a new tack. “Is it a nice sandwich?”

“Needs ketchup” said a voice from above. Then raucous laughter broke out from the direction of the ceiling. Seth couldn’t help laughing too.

“I’ll bear that in mind for the next one.”

All was silent from above and then a small face appeared.

“Next one?”

And so it was for the next few days. Seth made his epic sandwiches and the boys came more and more to trust him. He wasn’t to get the answers he wanted. None of them knew why they were there. For all they knew they had always been there, scavenging what they could. What was more interesting however, was that Seth was not the first man they’d seen. People were not common by any means. It could be ages between sightings, but there were others, and what’s more, none of them sounded like Seth’s cast. These were all new people that Seth knew nothing about. It seemed that his cast members were not the only ones in Ana’s mind.

The inspectors were not impressed by Seth’s absence. Judith could tell. They seemed to like the dream, and the other, lesser dreams, that Seth had planned before he went away, but they were definitely not happy. She wasn’t sure if it was the subtle pauses after every statement they made, their hopeful looks around the hall, or the fact that they demanded to see Seth about every twenty seconds that really gave it away. She’d done her best to keep it together, but everyone was getting jumpy. They were on a high after the show dream; she only wished that Seth could have seen it. He would have been so proud of them. Now the inspectors had been with them three days. This was unprecedented. No-one was ever inspected for three whole days. It was starting to show in the cast. Julia was getting shrill and emotional and James had become quiet and unengaged. They couldn’t take much more of this. Where was Seth? What was taking him so long? They needed him.

Seth was not doing so well. After expertly gaining the trust of the children he had uttered the immortal line “take me to your leader”. Unfortunately for him, they had. There was a definite Oliver Twist thing going on here. There was a man, that he only ever got to see from a distance, who seemed to be orchestrating the whole thing. Then there were gangs of children; mostly in threes and fours, but some larger. They all seemed to appear and disappear with some great purpose in mind. He didn’t like it at all. More to the point at the moment, they didn’t seem to like him.

Right now there was a lot of angry pointing going on and bigger boys, bigger than the ones who’d brought him here, seemed to be getting instructions. He didn’t think he was going to like those instructions very much. He could hear a scrabbling behind him. They’d taken all his things, he wasn’t sure what else they could take.

“That’s for the cake” said a small, high pitched, voice. It sounded familiar. “Go!”

Seth glanced around, but the child had gone. He leapt to his feet; staggered briefly as he had been tied up for really quite a long time, and then ran, as fast as he could, away down the nearest tunnel. He could hear shouts, but didn’t stop. He didn’t stop for a long time. Eventually, he found a small cove, hidden in the ceiling of the tunnel, hoisted himself up and curled into a tight ball. No food, no water and even less of an idea where he was than before. All he knew was that he had to get back.

Judith was beginning to despair. The inspectors had given up all pretence and were now systematically searching backstage to find out what had happened to Seth. So far they had found his old quarters and turned everyone’s lives upside down. If they hadn’t been so intent on causing the maximum amount of misery, they’d have found the clock two days ago. As it was, Judith thought that it would be hours rather than days. What would happen then?

“What’s this?” She heard from the distance in a triumphant tone.

“Oh”, she thought. “It’s all over”. She could hear triumphant cries and shoutings. She didn’t go to look. It was too late. Short of a miracle, there was nothing for them to do now. She sat down in amongst Susan’s carefully constructed costumes. That always made her feel better. She tried not to think about what they were going to do to them. The best she could see was that they’d be disbanded, perhaps sent to other groups of players. She tried not to think about players that just disappeared into the system, never to be heard from again. It hadn’t been her business then and she wished it wasn’t now. Perhaps…What was that noise? She’d dismissed it at first as being the inspectors doing whatever they were doing in the clock room, but now she thought about it, it wasn’t coming from there at all. It was a kind of rumbling, shouting kind of noise; and it was getting louder. Closer than that was a loud, what was that, a kind of loud panting noise and…

“Seth! Is that you?”

Seth took a deep, rattling breath and then screamed “RUUUUN” as he streaked past her.

She glanced towards him. There were hundreds of children running towards her. She started to smile, but before she could look towards Seth to tell him how stupid he was being, she saw the look in their eyes. She gasped. She ran.

Seth stopped dead in front of the clock, all thought of the boys behind him forgotten.

“What the HELL are you doing?!”

The inspectors, if that’s what they were; and he was pretty sure they weren’t, were all over the clock. Tools in hand, they had prised open, and in some cases off, small parts of the clock, and they were being collected by others on the ground.

Seth rushed towards them and tried to grab one of the men closest to him. Pull him down and off his precious mystery. He was rugby tackled to the floor. The wind knocked out of him. He could hear someone else enter the room at speed and shut the door. The men on top of him briefly looked up, but then returned to him. His hands were being roughly pulled behind him and a knee was being expertly pressed into the back of his neck. Someone was banging on the closed door. He heard a sob, but didn’t know who it was. The banging got louder and louder. It seemed to fill the whole room. There was a rumbling that echoed through the door and his whole frame. Finally there was a crunch and the door gave way. His attackers got off him and he was able to look up for the first time.

Judith was lying on the floor. Half of the door was on top of her, and she wasn’t moving. The men were standing and staring at the open hole that had taken its place. Through this hole was streaming, what seemed like, hundreds of small boys. They all looked angry. What’s more, they were all armed. Within seconds it would be over. Seth struggled to get upright. He was going to meet his end sitting up. He shut his eyes.

Suddenly there was deathly silence. He opened his eyes. Everyone was frozen, staring behind him. He turned too. There was a small woman standing in front of the clock.

“What the HELL is going on?”

The boys dropped their weapons and looked sheepish. The inspectors were eyeing up the exits. Judith began to stir and Seth awkwardly shuffled towards her, balance shot by having his arms tied behind his back.

“Can someone please explain to me what is gong on here?” Said the small woman in front of the clock. She was not shouting now, but she still looked furious.

Seth couldn’t work out who this woman was, and how she had managed to stop the children. Then, for some reason, he looked behind her. The clock; the wonderful, beautiful, mystery of a clock, Ana’s clock; had stopped. Could this be…

“Ana?” a small question escaped him.

She turned to him and smiled. He felt like his whole world was looking at him. He turned to see if Judith was seeing what he was and promptly tripped over the door, knocking himself out.

When Seth opened his eyes he couldn’t see much. He rubbed them slowly and tried again. Judith was staring into them, a worried expression on her face. He tried to sit up, but she gently pushed him back down.

“But what about…”

“Shhh, shhh, they’re all gone.”

He sat bolt upright and looked towards the clock. Briefly, he noticed that woman was gone, replaced by the steady tick, tick, he had grown to love; then the room span and he was forced to lay back down.

“Everything’s fine.” Judith reassured Seth, gently brushing his hair away from his eyes. “Everyone’s gone away.”

“But…”

“Rest” she commanded, slightly less soothingly. “It’s all over.”

He allowed her to tuck the covers back in under his chin. His brow still crinkled in a frown.

“If you must know, everyone is back where they’re supposed to be. The tunnels have been blocked and the inspectors sent away. It’s hard to argue when the point of everyone being here tells you to sort yourselves out.”

“Oh.” Was all he could manage. Any more and was afraid he might cry. He had had so many questions. He only got to see her for the briefest of moments.

“She left you this” Judith pushed something into his hand. She got up and walked away. He heard the door close behind her. Seth brought it up to his eyes. It was a small piece of paper. On it was written a few short words;

Thank you for my dreams.